What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
