Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well you can't waste a boner
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
