That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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