After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
