I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
