Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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