I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
