if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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