we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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