He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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