she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
