dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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