So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
