Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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