theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
