When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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