I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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