Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
