he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
