she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
