help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
