Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
