If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's Friday. Sex?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
