I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
