You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
