you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
