Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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