My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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