My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
