He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
