glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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