I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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