super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i now understand why vodka
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
