Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
