You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
