Kiss
Puke
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
