Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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