she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i believe in u and ur pee
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
