At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
