So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
