I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
too bad you live with your parents still
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
