glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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