I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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