Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
