There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
