a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
