Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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