Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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