My hair reeks of homosexuality.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
