The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
