Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
cat food counts as protein by the way
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
