Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
