I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a hot homeless man
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
